Here's what I'd do
Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:29 am
I wrote this trailer for my idea for Short Circuit 3 a couple years ago. The story itself was never finished, but I read it tonight and I like it. I can still see it all edited in my head, crystal clear. It would have taken place in about 2005. ANd of course it has bagpipes in it.
It's in a rough screenplay format.
Just thought I'd share. It made me cry when I read it back.
Ginnie
SHORT CIRCUIT 3 TRAILER
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): In this life, it's amazing what people can lose...
FADE IN:
BEN JAVHRI works at his Radio Shack sales job, wearing a plaid jacket, just as corny as ever. He peers between racks of gadgets.
BEN (into camera): Would you like batteries with that?
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): They lose balance...
NEWTON CROSBY is clapping and cheering on a sunny day at the Highland games. His teenage daughter BENNIE is playing bagpipes in a massed band. As they march by her cheering dad, Bennie looks over at him, loses step, trips and falls OUT OF FRAME. Followed by weird groaning BAGPIPE SOUNDS.
CUT TO:
Bennie and Newton walking off the marching field as Bennie hugs her bagpipes.
NEWTON (cheerfully consoles her): You really were the best in your row. I wish your mom could have seen you.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): lose touch...
STEPHANIE SPECK mucks about in her yard in Montana taking care of her many anmals and livestock. She looks tired and stressed.
BENNIE (V.O.): Dad, do you think Mom even knows I play the bagpipes.
CUT TO:
Newton, Bennie, and the bagpipes sit together on a bench on the porch of Stephanie's house in Oregon looking at the sunset as Newton puts his arm around her and the pipes.
NEWTON (V.O.): Not the last time I checked.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): lose hope...
NEWTON sits up alone late at night, sadly staring at a thick stack of papers.
CLOSE on the top of the first page - a notice of divorce.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): lose everything...
FRED RITTER now a scruffy bum stands out on a sidewalk in New York selling cheap watches.
FRED: Rolex...!
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): Or simply lose their way...
Closeup of SANDY BANATONI, in an office, dressed to the nines in a business suit holding a mile-high stack of papers.. She smiles sweetly.
SANDY: Johnny, sign all of these and then I'll need you to watch the kids this afternoon.... (leaves no time for an answer) OK? Great.
CUT TO:
In a big fancy city apartment, Ben and Sandy's two children, JOSH (8) and JOANNA (6) are at odds with someone. They are obviously in trouble and resisting authroity.
JOSH: You work for our mom and what we say goes...
JOANNA: Yeah, so GET LOST!!!
REVEAL that they are talking to JOHNNY FIVE. At this order from Joanna, he quizzically tilts his head and replies...
JOHNNY FIVE (very agreeably): OK.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): But when Number Five gets lost, even he can't imagine what he's about to find.
Over short sequence of an address label slapped onto a big wooden crate which is loaded onto a truck. Througha a crack in the box, one of Johnny's large round eyes peers out.
CUT TO:
On the porch of Stephanie's house, Bennie freaks out as Johnny Five approaches her. She's obviously never seen him in person before.
BENNIE: DAD!!!
Newton bursts out of the house, amazed. He's breathless at the surprise, nearly speechless. Bennie's eyes are wide. He's real. Everything stops.
NEWTON (softly): Bennie... meet Johnny Five.
:::WHIMSICAL MUSIC STARTS:::
FADE TO:
SERIES OF SHOTS:
NEWTON (V.O. over shots): You'll get used to him, Honey.
BENNIE (V.O. cont'd over shots A-D): But he never lets up. He sings, tells jokes, cooks breakfast, checks my math homework,... follows me everywhere... makes me crazy. It's like having (beat) a brother.
SHOT A: Johnny cooking some complicated meal...
SHOT B: Johnny playing "Chopsticks" on the piano.
SHOT C: Johnny peeking into Bennie's classroom window at school.
SHOT D: Bennie opens her bedroom door to find a web of yellow string engulfing the room, strung from and between every piece of furniture, light fixture, or otherwise stationary object. Obviously a prank. She immediately shouts...
BENNIE: JOHNNY FIVE!!!!
CUT TO:
Bennie obviously frustrated at something else Johnny has done.
REVEAL Johnny, wrestling with Bennies bagpipes and some sort of air compression system, trying to play them. He's surrounded by bagpipe music and instructional materials.
BENNIE: What do you think you're doing?
JOHNNY FIVE: Oops...
CUT TO:
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): And Bennie Crosby is about to find...
:::EMOTIONAL MUSIC:::
Bennie stands under a tree in a park playing her pipes. Johnny regards her from a discrete distance and begins to reach toward her.
BENNIE (V.O.): I don't know, Ben. He's such a big weird... machine.
BEN (V.O.): Bennie, Number Johnny Five is only a machine on his outside. Inside, his heart is very soft.
CLOSE UP on Five's hand. He gently grabs hold of the silk tassle hanging from Bennie's bagpipe drones.
:::MUSIC SWELLS:::
She suddenly turns to look at him. HOLD on her during...
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): (cont'd): ...the big brother she never had.
CUT TO:
Newton and Johnny are both sitting at the dinner table laughing hysterically. Bennie is not amused.
NEWTON (through laughter): ...powered by hot air... that's brilliant...
JOHNNY: (uncontrolable laughter)
BENNIE: You guys are just alike!
NEWTON: Well, I am HIS dad too.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): (cont'd): ...and the family she's always wanted.
Bennie sits in her bagpipe lesson gazing with respect at her teacher MR. PEDEN, a sweet middle-aged man. He seems distant, musing.
MR PEDEN: Given the chance to live again, I would have had a family of my own...
During dialogue CUT TO:
Johnny gazes longingly at an old photo of Stephanie and Newton.
BENNIE (V.O. over shot): Get Mom and Dad back together?!?
CUT TO:
Johnny at a nighttime event on the waterfront talking excitedly to Bennie.
JOHNNY: Yes! Get Stephanie back!
BENNIE: Are you nuts, Johnny Five?!
JOHNNY: (serious) Nuts AND bolts, Bennie.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): And the real adventure hasn't even started.
Over shot of a little "parade" led by Bennie, playing her pipes, Johnny with Joanna on his shoulders, Ben and Josh. They march in silhouette on a ridge, headed for parts unknown, very "Braveheart"-like.
FADE TO:
LOGO
FADE TO:
Stephanie hard art work in the countryside of Monatana. She looks up suddenly, surprised.
STEPHANIE: Number Five?!?!
CUT TO:
CREDITS, DATES
FADE OUT.
It's in a rough screenplay format.
Just thought I'd share. It made me cry when I read it back.
Ginnie
SHORT CIRCUIT 3 TRAILER
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): In this life, it's amazing what people can lose...
FADE IN:
BEN JAVHRI works at his Radio Shack sales job, wearing a plaid jacket, just as corny as ever. He peers between racks of gadgets.
BEN (into camera): Would you like batteries with that?
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): They lose balance...
NEWTON CROSBY is clapping and cheering on a sunny day at the Highland games. His teenage daughter BENNIE is playing bagpipes in a massed band. As they march by her cheering dad, Bennie looks over at him, loses step, trips and falls OUT OF FRAME. Followed by weird groaning BAGPIPE SOUNDS.
CUT TO:
Bennie and Newton walking off the marching field as Bennie hugs her bagpipes.
NEWTON (cheerfully consoles her): You really were the best in your row. I wish your mom could have seen you.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): lose touch...
STEPHANIE SPECK mucks about in her yard in Montana taking care of her many anmals and livestock. She looks tired and stressed.
BENNIE (V.O.): Dad, do you think Mom even knows I play the bagpipes.
CUT TO:
Newton, Bennie, and the bagpipes sit together on a bench on the porch of Stephanie's house in Oregon looking at the sunset as Newton puts his arm around her and the pipes.
NEWTON (V.O.): Not the last time I checked.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): lose hope...
NEWTON sits up alone late at night, sadly staring at a thick stack of papers.
CLOSE on the top of the first page - a notice of divorce.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): lose everything...
FRED RITTER now a scruffy bum stands out on a sidewalk in New York selling cheap watches.
FRED: Rolex...!
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): Or simply lose their way...
Closeup of SANDY BANATONI, in an office, dressed to the nines in a business suit holding a mile-high stack of papers.. She smiles sweetly.
SANDY: Johnny, sign all of these and then I'll need you to watch the kids this afternoon.... (leaves no time for an answer) OK? Great.
CUT TO:
In a big fancy city apartment, Ben and Sandy's two children, JOSH (8) and JOANNA (6) are at odds with someone. They are obviously in trouble and resisting authroity.
JOSH: You work for our mom and what we say goes...
JOANNA: Yeah, so GET LOST!!!
REVEAL that they are talking to JOHNNY FIVE. At this order from Joanna, he quizzically tilts his head and replies...
JOHNNY FIVE (very agreeably): OK.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): But when Number Five gets lost, even he can't imagine what he's about to find.
Over short sequence of an address label slapped onto a big wooden crate which is loaded onto a truck. Througha a crack in the box, one of Johnny's large round eyes peers out.
CUT TO:
On the porch of Stephanie's house, Bennie freaks out as Johnny Five approaches her. She's obviously never seen him in person before.
BENNIE: DAD!!!
Newton bursts out of the house, amazed. He's breathless at the surprise, nearly speechless. Bennie's eyes are wide. He's real. Everything stops.
NEWTON (softly): Bennie... meet Johnny Five.
:::WHIMSICAL MUSIC STARTS:::
FADE TO:
SERIES OF SHOTS:
NEWTON (V.O. over shots): You'll get used to him, Honey.
BENNIE (V.O. cont'd over shots A-D): But he never lets up. He sings, tells jokes, cooks breakfast, checks my math homework,... follows me everywhere... makes me crazy. It's like having (beat) a brother.
SHOT A: Johnny cooking some complicated meal...
SHOT B: Johnny playing "Chopsticks" on the piano.
SHOT C: Johnny peeking into Bennie's classroom window at school.
SHOT D: Bennie opens her bedroom door to find a web of yellow string engulfing the room, strung from and between every piece of furniture, light fixture, or otherwise stationary object. Obviously a prank. She immediately shouts...
BENNIE: JOHNNY FIVE!!!!
CUT TO:
Bennie obviously frustrated at something else Johnny has done.
REVEAL Johnny, wrestling with Bennies bagpipes and some sort of air compression system, trying to play them. He's surrounded by bagpipe music and instructional materials.
BENNIE: What do you think you're doing?
JOHNNY FIVE: Oops...
CUT TO:
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): And Bennie Crosby is about to find...
:::EMOTIONAL MUSIC:::
Bennie stands under a tree in a park playing her pipes. Johnny regards her from a discrete distance and begins to reach toward her.
BENNIE (V.O.): I don't know, Ben. He's such a big weird... machine.
BEN (V.O.): Bennie, Number Johnny Five is only a machine on his outside. Inside, his heart is very soft.
CLOSE UP on Five's hand. He gently grabs hold of the silk tassle hanging from Bennie's bagpipe drones.
:::MUSIC SWELLS:::
She suddenly turns to look at him. HOLD on her during...
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): (cont'd): ...the big brother she never had.
CUT TO:
Newton and Johnny are both sitting at the dinner table laughing hysterically. Bennie is not amused.
NEWTON (through laughter): ...powered by hot air... that's brilliant...
JOHNNY: (uncontrolable laughter)
BENNIE: You guys are just alike!
NEWTON: Well, I am HIS dad too.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): (cont'd): ...and the family she's always wanted.
Bennie sits in her bagpipe lesson gazing with respect at her teacher MR. PEDEN, a sweet middle-aged man. He seems distant, musing.
MR PEDEN: Given the chance to live again, I would have had a family of my own...
During dialogue CUT TO:
Johnny gazes longingly at an old photo of Stephanie and Newton.
BENNIE (V.O. over shot): Get Mom and Dad back together?!?
CUT TO:
Johnny at a nighttime event on the waterfront talking excitedly to Bennie.
JOHNNY: Yes! Get Stephanie back!
BENNIE: Are you nuts, Johnny Five?!
JOHNNY: (serious) Nuts AND bolts, Bennie.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): And the real adventure hasn't even started.
Over shot of a little "parade" led by Bennie, playing her pipes, Johnny with Joanna on his shoulders, Ben and Josh. They march in silhouette on a ridge, headed for parts unknown, very "Braveheart"-like.
FADE TO:
LOGO
FADE TO:
Stephanie hard art work in the countryside of Monatana. She looks up suddenly, surprised.
STEPHANIE: Number Five?!?!
CUT TO:
CREDITS, DATES
FADE OUT.